At Arden’s doc appointment on Tuesday, she weighed 7lbs 4.8 oz. and bilirubin measured 11.9. Which is great! Our job is now to help her keep putting on more weight. The next doctor’s appointment for her is in 10days. YAY the biggest time lag in appointments for her since her birth. Happy 3 weeks old Arden!
We did have to go to a doctor’s appointment yesterday, and this time, for me. I am healing decently. I do still walk very slowly, my uterus is still bleeding a bit, but my stitches in my perineal area have almost completely resolved. I do have about two fingers worth of abdominal separation (aka diastasis recti — why my belly moved into a triangle shape when I would use my abdominal muscles to say sit up, and I still have that triangle now!) So in about another three weeks I will start with a pelvic floor therapist. The midwife said it takes about a year for the body to fully heal after birth, and if we want a second child, we should let st least 18 months pass, from birth to birth. Gosh. I can hardly imagine going through all this again, and so soon!!
We also had an opportunity to ask questions about the birth experience – they say it’s good to seek answers around any birth / pregnancy trauma so it doesn’t get in the way of future pregnancies. We didn’t get a whole lot of answers but at least we asked the questions. Arden’s “traumatic birth” was probably a result of simply coming out the birth canal and getting squished. There was also no clear reason why she didn’t cry right away when she was evicted from my body. There was a moment where it looked like her shoulder was in the way, but she adjusted quickly. I only pushed for about 45-50min so it’s unlikely she had severe trauma. As to what they did to get her to cry — possibly they sucked fluid out of her to make sure she could breathe. But all in, Una the midwife said it wasn’t particularly serious and if it were, she wouldn’t have been placed in my chest and would have gone straight to the NICU. There was also a moment when Una stepped away just for a minute and Arden’s forehead suddenly completely exited and the nurse was like “get the midwife! I can’t deliver this baby!” And literally asked me to stop push and put her hand seemingly to prevent the baby from making further progress. Una said this was to prevent tearing of my vagina as you want the baby’s chin to be pointed down as she comes out and well, midwives handle all of that. So again, these weren’t very concrete answers, but well, I think enough for me to close the open questions. Jana did get lots of videos, so well, I’ll get to revisit the experience in due course.
Now that doc appointments have given way to “normal” life, we were able to squeeze in 30min of Netflix last night — so we watched Julie Deply’s “On the Verge”, a honest look at how our culture has forgotten middle-aged women. Funny. Well sadly funny.
I’ve squeezed in very small and slow walks in a local park or two — like Centennial Park. It’s kindda crazy to see a live sized Parthenon in the middle of Nashville, but here it is. 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve also had a chance to drop in on some phone calls related to social justice at my church (we are advocating for an amendment to the 13th amendment — slavery and indentured servitude are still legal in this country if folks are being punished for a crime, giving rise to the massive exploitation of prisoners in the prison industrial complex), and also regarding Dynaoptics (omg the company is still alive and has a handful of R&D contracts, amazing, but ok can we sell the company now please). Don’t think my brain and energy levels are all up to snuff, but I realise all these things help my sanity in what can be a very overwhelming transition.
It’s been important for me to realise that much as I love Arden, that if I don’t have time away from caring for her and doing non-household chores, that I can go bat-shit crazy. Apparently 75% of all pregnant women get postpartum depression. When I do long shifts of caring for Arden, without doing things other than household chores, I’ve definitely noticed I get a little glum. Here is the survey they make me fill in at each of Arden’s and my doctor’s visits. It makes me a bit depressed just asking myself these not very nuanced questions over and over again. Sure I have cried! And yes sometimes I’m too exhausted to look forward with enjoyment to things! But generally, I’ve been blessed with a healthy mental constitution so I’m doing pretty well all things considered.
Tandy and I have settled on 4 6-hour shifts. 8a-2p, 2p-8p, 8p-2am, 2a-8a. Easy enough! I went for a walk with Ouisie this morning after my shift and enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air 🙂🐶. Soon maybe we will have the energy and be brave enough to do fun things with Arden, beyond neighbourhood walks and doctor’s appointments. Off to take a nap now. 😴
Adventures with Arden 